Spiritual Guidance: Being Ladylike

For the past few weeks, we've been diving into 1 Peter 3:1-6 in a mini-series titled Ladylike at my home church Vision Church. Lack of submission to one's own husband, self value, and a false sense of security were all addressed. I have to say that this mini series within the Unusual Hope series opened my eyes. Of course it gave women a different perspective in general, because we each go through these things, but it spoke VOLUMES to me.

Outfit of Affirmation from Vision Church on Vimeo.

Week 1

As a married woman, I constantly run into issues with my lack of submission. There are plenty of times where I know think I know the perfect solution to our problems and I demand  suggest with urgency that he follows my lead. When he refuses to see things my way I want to throw it in his face and say, "See I told you!" Welp, ya girl was definitely rebuked that day. "It’s your love that will transform your spouse, not your correction."  That's right. It doesn't matter how many times I tell my husband how to do something, my actions my love speaks louder than my words.  

Another major issue that I have is the need to be right ALL OF THE TIME (childhood issues I guess), and then want the final say in all arguments. Now, for those of you who know my husband, will know that this is no easy feat. He can talk your face off. I love me some him though. This is a sample of what one of our arguments looks like when everything is laid out on the table and it's time for our "cool down" period. 

Me: Whatever!

Him: Okay!

Me: Yeah, Uh Huh!

Him: Pretty much.

Me: Yuuup.

Him: That's nice.

Me: You finished?!

Him: YOU FINISHED?!

We will go tit for tat until we start a completely different argument. Again, ya girl was rebuked. We were told, as wives, that we don't always have to respond in order for a point to be made. "You can win your spouse by submitting to God’s will, not by enforcing your will." So basically: Hush. Continue with your wifely and godly duties, he'll get it. One way or another. 

Week 2 + 3

Here's where we get to the juicy bits. As a boutique owner and fashion + beauty blogger, the subject of clothing and makeup being an armor, shield, or a means of adding value to oneself interests me. I am a fan of fashion, jewelry, and beauty. I also like following a few trends (depending on the trend). For example, more women are idolizing Beyonce than a little bit. I love Bey as much as the next girl. I'm not saying everyone's dressing like her, but I know for a fact that we're quoting the mess out of that album. Right now, owning and knowing the words to each song is the trend. The videos come up in several conversations, and if you can't keep up, you're not invited to join the conversation. Knowing certain trends are a form of acceptance. 

Clothing to some can be a method of acceptance. Growing up I had the desire to wear what everyone else was wearing just to fit in. Middle school will make you want to do and wear crazy things, just ask Vanessa from The Cosby Show. In today's culture nothing has really differed. Everyone's still trying to follow someone else, but the leaders have changed. To some, fashion and beauty can be a method of protection. "Always dress like you're going to see your worst enemy" -Kimora Lee Simmons. She's teaching women to rely on material items as an armor. On the other hand, I know plenty of people who went out to buy that RiRi collection from MAC. BTW MAC is a trend of its own. And if their face is not "Beat" then it's not a good day. I won't even lie, I have an issue with my brows. I told my husband that if I were to leave this earth before he does, don't let them have an open casket funeral unless my brows are done RIGHT! Cause "I woke up like dis".

It's not my covering, but I won't go out without them. They DON'T complete me, but they DO make my face look proportionate. Let's not stop there, don't limit your false coverings and values to just beauty and fashion. Your job or education could be our false security. Your family or status may be where you believe your self-worth is. What I took away from this message is basically, It's okay to like fashion but don't let the clothes make you. Don't let the job, or the degree, or your kids make you. They can't define who you are, protect your self-esteem, or fill you. They can't save you, but I know a God who can.

If you would like to hear any of these sermons visit Visionchurchrdu.org

Week 1:LADYLIKE: SUBMISSION TO YOUR HUSBAND  

Week 2: LADYLIKE: AN OUTFIT OF AFFIRMATION 

Week 3: LADYLIKE: AN OUTFIT OF AFFIRMATION 2