Cutting Off What's Holding Me Back

Since un-locking my locs at the beginning of this year, I've had the opportunity to learn about my curls (4c in the house, Woot Woot!). Right before I locked my hair, I trimmed off the relaxed portion that was damaged beyond all repair. This was in the summer of 2009, and I was pregnant with my son, Tre. So imagine me at 5 months pregnant with a TWA: FAT AND BALD! I felt uglier than ever. Five years later and I'm standing in front of the mirror, 5 months pregnant again, and I'm contemplating whether or not I should cut my hair.


The last time scissors have touched my tresses, it was right after I un-locked. I could see the damage, split ends, and knots that resulted due to the lack of moisture. I snipped and trimmed until I my hair was somewhat healthy. I usually keep my hair in Senegalese twists to make sure I'm not always playing it. But, as a result of not having daily access to my hair, I was depriving it of the proper treatments that my hair needs: Conditioning, deep conditioning, moisturizing, massages, washings, and most importantly....trimmings. I simply take my hair down once every month or two, wash and condition it, and then re-twist my hair for another round of Senegalese twists.

My hair did grow, but I wasn't taking care of it. My ends show the real story. I look at other naturals and wonder why my hair looks like it lacks luster and seems "scruffy" at the ends. The answer is simple: I'm not cutting my ends, nor am I moisturizing and sealing them. I grabbed a pair of scissors and felt where the split ends started to blossom open like flower petals, and I chopped and cut until everything felt like the same texture through to the ends. Once I was finished, I realized how much length I had actually cut off. My hair, which was making an attempt for my shoulders, is now at my jaw bone (when stretched of course).
So, here I am again, 5 months pregnant, feeling fatter than ever with my short natural hair, and I couldn't feel any more beautiful. We could say that it's because of my ability to "enhance" my pregnancy glow and beauty with bronzer and the proper application of makeup. I could be feeling beautiful because I know how to actually style my hair this time around (thank you YouTube). Really we could say that I feel beautiful because I'm in a different place from when I first cut my hair in 2009. I'm happier about it, especially since I now know that I am doing more to take care of what I have.

Have you experience a personality growth even though something in your personal appearance took a "trim"? Are you glad about cutting off whatever it was that was holding you back? I'd love to hear from you.


Until next time,